You are not a Prisoner of Your Past

The ability to recall facts, events and names of people is a trait that is admired by many. I believe this is also a trait that is needed for one to succeed in academics and other areas of life. People are usually pleased when people remember their names and they tend to think such persons regard them as special. So the ability to remember things is one that everybody should possess (and I think everybody possesses this ability to a degree).

Everyone of us also possesses the ability to forget things. It is just natural with us to forget things because of the enormous amount of information that we take in all the time.  My inspirational teacher explained human beings’ ability to forget things in a write-up he titled How Old is Your Knowledge? He explains that human knowledge can easily become stale or obsolete if not used all the time. He explained this with a graphic analogy: Knowledge is like documents that come into a pigeon-hole. The first document to come in soon takes the back seat as more documents are placed in the pigeon-hole. This means, he said, that the knowledge acquired today soon becomes obsolete or forgotten when not applied. So it is just natural that for us to forget things.

But there is another aspect to forgetting that I want to discuss in this piece. That is the ability to consciously forget things. The ability to consciously forget has to be learned; it doesn’t come naturally. This is because the things we have to consciously forget are things that are really hard to forget. In fact, some of them are things we don’t want to forget either because we want to use them as excuses for our state or because of complacency. It can be due any reason under the sun. One major reason you have to learn how to consciously forget things is because though you are a product of your past, you are not a prisoner of your past. And your past will have as much influence on your life as you will allow it. So what are those things we should learn to consciously forget?

Your failures. Yes, your failures. Some people allow their failures to hold them down. Free yourself from the clutch of failure. Take the sting out of failure by refusing to allow the hurt you experienced when you failed to affect you any longer. Don’t allow the memory of failure to prevent you from attempting new things. Don’t allow the embarrassment of failing stop you from becoming what you are capable of becoming. Use failure as a springboard only. Thomas Edison has helped us see failure in a new light by regarding it as a lesson on how not to do a particular thing. Do you still allow the memory of past failures to haunt you and pull you down? Make the decision today to erase such memory. Learning to forget your past failure means not allowing the negative emotions you experienced when you failed

Your successes. Everyone wants to succeed in life. We all want to flaunt our achievements. We all want people to remember us as successful people. We all want to feel good about our achievements. And if it is possible, we never want to forget about our successes. But the truth is that we must learn to forget our successes. My reasons? If you fail to forget about your successes, complacency may set in and you may not ultimately fulfill your potential. Here are some quotes I came across which I believe convey my thoughts on forgetting your successes: "Good is the Enemy of Great." “Whenever an individual or a business decides that success has been attained, progress stops.” “The good is the enemy of the best.” “Good is often the enemy of best. Too often in life we miss the best by settling for the good.” Do I need to add anything? If you continue to bask in the euphoria of one success, you may find yourself settling for less in life. I believe success in an endeavour should give you the confidence to attempt greater things. It should boost your belief that you are packaged for greatness; that you are capable of great things.

I end this piece by asking you this question: What is it that you need to forget so that you can realise your potential?

Two Things You Should Do This Year: Make Your Demand; Build Your Network

Last week, I took my wife to the hospital for treatment of cough and catarrh. It was our first time of visiting that hospital to see a doctor so we had to obtain a new patient’s card. We paid for the card without stress but it was not the same with obtaining the card. Since my wife was not feeling too well, I had to help her obtain the card while she sat down. The queue that confronted me where I was to obtain the card was scary but I did not have any option but to fall in line if I wanted to get the card. There were about five disorderly lines (the disorderlines actually accounts for why I cannot be exact about the number of lines) being attended to by two persons – the number later increased to three.

While waiting to be attended to, I observed something: some people who just joined the queue were attended to before those they met on the line. A man who was behind me found his way to the front and he was attended to before me. My first reaction to the man’s attitude was to wonder at his impatience and disregard for order. But it didn’t take me long to come to terms with what I concluded was the reality of life. I thought to myself that there was no need to blame him because his action only exemplified that life will hand you what you demand of it and not necessarily what you deserve. In life, some people wait for a good fortune to drop on their laps like ripe mangoes while others go about life with such a determination to make life give them what they want. This does not mean I support disorderliness. In fact, I am a firm believer in the first come, first served principle.

Another observation I made while waiting to get the card was that patients who knew hospital officials enlisted the support of such officials to help them get whatever they wanted quickly. This also did not anger me because I have come to realise that relationships can help you get ahead in life or take you where your knowledge or status may not take you. These patients who knew hospital officials were only enjoying the benefits of the relationships they had developed. And I am not one to blame the hospital officials for calling in favours in ther workplace. Where else would they call in such favours if not in their workplace?

I eventually obtained the card ahead of some people I met on the queue but my wife and I had to leave because the hospital was apparently short-staffed and the crowd was too much for the doctors on duty – I think there were just two doctors on duty. We went to another place (we didn’t go there at first because my wife could not locate her card). On getting to the other place, my wife saw a number of people she knew and she was quickly attended to. She saw the doctor who prescribed drugs for her. We got the drugs and left.

I learned two lessons that day.  Number one: make your demand on life. Demand from life what you want. Stretch forth your hand and grab or seize from life what you want. Don’t just sit down waiting on life to give you your desires because most times life will not give you what you want or even deserve but whatever it feels like giving you and that is why some say life is not fair. I am sure the prosperous -those who have learned how to make their demand on life- will not tell you that life is not fair. The second lesson I learned was the need to build relationships with people. We have to make relationship building a top priority. We need to be aggressive in forging relationships with people because we do not know when such relationships would yield great rewards for us. My inspirational teacher would always say that your networth is determined by your network. The network you build will ultimately determine where you get to in life. Your relationships determine how strong you are. Your network is an indication of how influential you are.

If you want to make your life count this year, then do these two things: make your demand and build your network.

HAVE YOU WRITTEN YOUR OBITUARY?

Recently, I wrote my obituary. Yes, my own obituary! I am sure that may not make sense to you. But that is what I did. Why? You may want to ask. Why not? If I may ask. Before I tell you why, let me tell you what I wrote about in the obituary. I wrote about my service to God, my family life, my purpose and achievements. Yes, those were the things I wrote about in the obituary. Let me also state from the outset that the aim of this post is to encourage you to write your obituary TODAY.

During my final days as an undergraduate, I was opportune to listen to a motivational speaker who came to speak to us. This man asked us all to write our obituaries and you can guess what the reaction of the audience was. But after listening to him I realised that writing your obituary is one of the best decisions you can take in life. I left the venue of the programme with the resolution to write my obituary immediately. I can’t remember if I eventually wrote it or not but recently I remembered about it and decided to write my obituary.

Your obituary is what is written about you when you die. So writing your obituary when you are alive gives you the chance to influence - I think dictate is a better word - what will be written about you when you die. This does not mean you should go about showing your obituary to everybody (that is why I didn’t publish mine). Your self-written obituary is for you eyes only and anybody you want to show it to.

Writing your obituary is a way of giving direction to your life. Since your obituary is a summary of how you lived your life, writing it ahead will guide your decisions and actions. How? Since an obituary contains the activities and achievements of an individual during his lifetime, the obituary you write should contain those things you hope to achieve in life. Write it in a way that presupposes you have achieved these things. This will give direction to your life, since you already know the goal you are working towards. Writing your obituary is a way of writing down your dream in life.

Writing your obituary well ahead will give you clarity and focus. Clarity of purpose and focus to follow through with it without distractions. So, write your obituary and place it where you can see it constantly. This will help remind you about your dream(s) and give you the spur you need to achieve your purpose.

SO ARE YOU READY TO WRITE YOUR OBITUARY NOW?

A Big Fish in a Big Pond: The Messi/ Ronaldo Rivalry

A Big Fish in a Big Pond: The Messi/ Ronaldo Rivalry

I love Lionel Messi. I admire him. He is the best footballer I have ever seen. Messi is not just a footballer, he is a phenomenon. He is from another planet. He is just too good. He is the greatest.

There have been comparisons between Messi and Christiano Ronaldo. Some claim Ronaldo is a better player than Messi. I beg to disagree. I admit that Ronaldo is an amazing footballer. It is only an amazing player who can score 150 goals in 149 matches. That’s a remarkable feat. Ronaldo is extremely gifted. He is one of the best footballers around but there is one who is better than him: Lionel Messi. Messi is miles ahead of Ronaldo. You can call that a subjective assessment and I will not disagree with you.

I believe the debate on who is better between Ronaldo and Messi would not have arisen if he had not moved from the English premiership to the Spanish la liga. It is usually said in my workplace that it is better to be a big fish in a small pond than to be a big fish in a big pond. This is because in a big pond, there will be many big fishes while you will have very few big fishes in a small pond. I strongly believe this applies to the Ronaldo/Messi rivalry. While I do not mean that the Spanish la liga is bigger than the English premiership, what I want to bring out is the fact that Ronaldo’s move to the la liga means two of football’s greatest names now play in the same league.

When Ronaldo was in Manchester United, his exploits were usually hailed and people would usually wonder how it would be like if he was playing in the same league as Messi. He was the biggest thing in English football. He should have enjoyed his dominance of English football but no, he moved over to the la liga and he has since been eclipsed by the phenomenal Messi. Frankly speaking, Ronaldo has displayed wonderful and amazing feats since coming to the la liga. But unfortunately, his performances have been overshadowed by Messi’s.

Take Messi out of the picture and what Ronaldo has achieved in the la liga would have earned him more accolades than he is receiving now because no matter how well Ronaldo has performed, Messi has performed better. Messi has succeeded in diverting most of the attention in the la liga to himself, so Ronaldo’s achievements have not received the reviews and attention they deserve.

What can we learn from the scenario depicted above? Don't go to where you will be choked. Don't shine where your brightness will not be seen.

Life Questions: Questions You MUST Answer

Life Questions: Questions You MUST Answer

I have been thinking. I have been thinking very seriously. There is dissatisfaction within me. I am not content with what I am doing with my life at the moment. I don’t know about you but for me I can get more out of life than I am getting at present. I am not yet affecting lives as I would want to. I am not getting the fulfilment I desire. And I thank God for my pastor who has been addressing issues like this at our Empowerment Service every Sunday morning before the Family Service. Through his sermons, I have been able to glean these questions I need to ask myself. I think you should also ask yourself these questions.

On whether you are in control of your time, ask yourself these questions:

Ø  Do you always plan what you want to accomplish every day, month or year?

Ø  Are your results commensurate with your efforts?

Ø  At the end of each day, month or year do you feel happy, fulfilled, indifferent or miserable?

Ø  Are you in control of your decisions?

Concerning having your desired future, ask yourself these questions:

Ø  How long into the future can you see now? (Long-term thinkers see into at least 5-10 years).

Ø  Do you bother to find out the effect of the actions you are taking on your future?

Ø  What percentage of your daily activities is pleasure-motivated?

Ø  What percentage of your daily activities is goal-motivated?

Ø  What do you do when you are free from your regular assignments?

Ø  Can you state in clear terms where you are likely to be in the next ten years and how you hope to get there?

If we can sincerely answer these questions and do what is appropriate I bet we will have the future we desire. So do not delay. Please answer these right away.

Why does Roger Federrer need a coach?

Why does Roger Federrer need a coach?

Roger Federrer has been described as the best tennis player ever by some tennis pundits. His exploits have even been hailed by tennis legends. Currently he is ranked number one in the world. He is reputed to be the longest-serving number one ranked tennis player in the world. But one thing intrigues me about Roger Federrer, he has a coach.

Consider Usain Bolt, the Jamaican who has taken the world of track and field by storm. He broke the Olympic record in the 200 metres sprint at the just-concluded games in London. He has consistently run under 9 seconds in the 100 metres dash. But one thing intrigues me about Usain Bolt, he has a coach.

Tiger Woods for a long time was the number one golfer in the world. His prodigious talent as a golfer cannot be denied even by his detractors. He has won numerous golf titles and he is still a force in the game of golf. But one thing intrigues me about Tiger Woods, he has a coach.

I must also mention Lionel Messi, who for me, is the best footballer in the last decade. He is the finest footballer I know. He is so talented that viewers marvel when they see his dexterous display on the field of play. Messi is immensely gifted. His talents are so obvious for all to see. But one thing intrigues me about Lionel Messi, he has a coach.

The question bogging my mind is this: Why do these world class superstars need a coach? What do their coaches teach them? Why does Usain Bolt have to listen to a person who probably never created or broke any record? Does Tito Vilanova teach Messi how to dribble or shake off an opponent? Do these gifted or talented people need a coach?

A coach is a person who instructs players in the fundamentals of a competitive sport and directs team strategy. Going by this definition, yes, these superstars need a coach. This is because talent is not enough. Talent/skill must be honed. While these stars may possess immense skills, they need a trained/experienced person to help direct or channel their skills for desired output. A coach determines tactic/strategy. A coach ensures discipline. A coach is also a psychologist. He has the responsibility to instil confidence in his player(s).  A talented player who lacks self-confidence will never live up to expectation. A good player still needs a person who can analyse him and determine when he is exhausted and needs to rest and when he must train. An amazing player needs someone who can analyse the opposition/opponent very well and then decide the appropriate style of play. So, YES, superstars also need coaches.

The purpose of this piece is to highlight the importance of a mentor, a coach, a teacher or a guide in a person’s life. No matter how talented or gifted you may be, the place of a mentor/teacher cannot be ruled out or underestimated. This is because the instruction you follow determines the future you create. So decide today on a mentor. And hope you know that mentorship can also be received from books and tapes. If you asked the late Bola Ige who his mentor was, without batting an eyelid, he would tell you Chief Obafemi Awolowo. In fact, most Nigerian politicians of western extraction are quick to name Awolowo as their mentor or role model. Ask Bishop David Oyedepo who his father in the ministry is and he will unabashedly mention Pastor E. A. Adeboye. Ask some of the most popular Nigerian artistes who their mentors are and you will hear them reel out names of veterans in the industry. King of Juju music, King Sunny Ade will always acknowledge the influence of Chief Moses Olaiya, a.k.a Baba Sala on his career. Popular Nigerian comedian, AY and many other Nigerian comedians never fail to acknowledge the role played by Ali Baba, Nigeria’s veteran comedian in their careers. All these examples go to show how much we need people in our lives to help us do well in life.

So who is that person you admire? GATHER ALL HIS BOOKS AND TAPES AND DEVOUR THEM. Always remember: WE ALL NEED COACHES.

Commitment and Courage

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                                       COMMITMENT AND COURAGE

Terry Fox ran across Canada and raised twenty-four million dollars to fight cancer. What's amazing is that he did it with one leg; cancer had taken the other. He planned to run twenty-six miles each day but because of severe headaches, snow and icy roads, after a month he'd only managed to struggle about eight miles a day. So why did he keep going? Because the purpose in his heart was stronger than the pain in his body. They could amputate his leg, but not his spirit! Commitment is a willingness to do whatever it takes; it's a promise to yourself, from which you refuse to back down. There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested you do it only when it's convenient, but when you're committed you accept no excuses-only results. Only you can decide whether the rewards are worth the effort, for there are trade-offs. You can't have a healthy body and live on junk food. A guaranteed salary is nonexistent when you start your own business. Mindless hours of watching television and straight 'A's' are a rare combination. Commitment means paying your dues. It also means disregarding your critics. Jesus did that. 'But Jesus ignored their comments and said...'Don't be afraid. Just trust me' (Mark 5:36 TLB). Ralph Waldo Emerson said: 'Whatever course you decide upon, there will always be someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.'

*This piece was copied from The Word for Today Devotional of 29th August, 2012.